top of page
Writer's pictureWilliam Guth

People are hard to hate close up. Move in.

Updated: Jul 9, 2021




In this chapter excerpt author Brené Brown explores the process of conflict transformation with the help of colleague Dr. Michelle Buck. Through the mechanism of question-and-answer Brown and Buck illustrate how conflict transformation provides both parties in an argument with the tools to navigate conflict in a way that leads to deeper mutual understanding, greater mutual respect and connection. These tools include having the conversation rather than avoiding, addressing underlying intentions rather than opinions and preferences, and arriving at a shared future.

Conflict avoidance is an extreme sport in my department. At a recent department meeting, I brought up this issue and it led to deflection through humor which is a classic form of conflict avoidance. Prior to this event I was in the process of preparing for a courageous conversation, a phrase coined by my instructor Prof. Buck for difficult conversations that need to happen and can no longer be avoided. In the lead up to this main event, I conducted a few preparatory conversations to confirm that my intentions were honorable, and I found myself in an improvised position of vulnerability with a co-worker. At that point my intention for the conversation was revealed and technically I had put myself at great risk. The moment was very uncomfortable for both of us but yielded details and perspectives that put my colleague at risk as well. Looking back on it I realize that we reached a new and different mutual understanding than we had reached before in our seven years working together.


LO4: Apply communication-centered scholarship to strengthen effectiveness.


Opmerkingen


bottom of page